Saturday, March 10, 2012

And now.... wait for it.... we wait..

Yeah... so I now officially have no idea when I will be back home.  I know I have a no later than date, but as far as potentially leaving early.  Not a clue, funding hasn't been approved, but it hasn't been denied either.  This is almost worse than the Army, I did the hurry up and wait for many years.   However I didn't think i would be running into it in the civilian side of things...  Although now that I think about it, this is an military funded project.  So it makes more sense.  I have been looking for some jobs, but I've kind of been slacking lately.  I guess I need to get hot on that again.   I really don't want to move all my stuff down to Tucson just to be laid off.  I am also a little tired of deploying.  I know I have said it before, but I think I mean it this time.  I do enjoy travelling but going to the same spots; ie: Iraq and Afghanistan; neither of which are good tourist destinations.  I am also on the shit list for the national guard at the moment.  I got an email from my Warrant Officer basically telling me that I was getting put into the In-active National Guard, it was either that or I would be considered AWOL and I would get the disciplinary paperwork that accompanies that.  So that seemed like the logical choice I suppose.  I keep going back and forth about staying in the guard or getting out.  I know the likeliness that I will get to go to HALO school or get promoted are slim.  So I should just get out.  Those are the two factors keeping me around, that and the off chance that there is another war.  Being out here and seeing the troops leave on missions day in and day out really brings back a lot of feelings, the uncertainty, the adrenaline, and excitement that I used to get whenever I would go out on an operation.  Its a strange feeling that most people will never fully understand.  I know that if I get out I will probably be bored, and as much complaining as I do whenever I have drill I do enjoy it.  I get to see familiar faces and friends that I haven't seen in a few months.  The camaraderie that I have with some of these guys is different than that of my other close friends or family.  I guess its different because for them, they have been there... We have fought side by side, literally and figuratively.  Regardless of if we were in combat together at the same time we have done the same thing.  So to talk to them about stuff is different then when I try to explain it to my civilian buddies.  Don't get me wrong, I will talk to them about stuff all day long because they do enjoy my stories, and they do want to understand.  However its impossible for them to fully grasp what I am talking about.  Oh well... On that note I am going to go to the gym.. still trying to figure out a good workout schedule that works for this Triathlon... I'll get there.

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