Sick.... Tired... Slightly Irritated.

So here I sit in wonderful Afghanistan. Again. I am flying again which is good.  We spent the first week out here twiddling our thumbs which was ok I suppose.  We got a chance to get acclimated and feel things out. We have since started flying, which is great but the army doesn't know how to use us.  Although I have a feeling that is going to change soon.. I am ok with that too.  I am sick, yay?  Well its just a cold but its annoying to say the least.  Stuffy nose sore throat etc...  
On another note its almost Christmas, yet I don't really feel the holiday spirit.  I want to, I want to be happy and merry.  There are no lights no tree nothing to really remind me that its actually the holiday season.  I have been living vicariously through Facebook and what other people have been posting.  Which has sufficed for now.  I am going to miss family and friends as the next few weeks go by.  I want to be there with them.  Mostly family, they've had a rough go this year.  Between my sisters wreck and my grandma passing its been hard on my folks.  I know me being gone isn't helping any either.  Time is going by pretty fast but its still dragging when I look back at how long I have actually been out here.  I still technically have over 4 months.  Then there is the question of am I going to stay with this job?  Where am I going to go if I don't.  School? Work? What?  I don't know... I like this field of work I just don't think that the company I am with has the crap together enough for this system to last... I hope I am proven wrong.  I have come back three times to virtually the same stuff every time.  Bad planning, poor communication, and a product that just isn't quite there.  I don't have the answers to fix it, but even for me I can see that something needs to be fixed.  Well I will sit here and mouth breathe till my drugs kick in and ponder the next move... 

Bored... Tired.... Frustrated.

Well today is the day after Thanksgiving.  I had a pretty decent day yesterday, all in all.  I watched a movie, hung out and at my sweet MRE, and got to video chat with Gretchen.  I think it turned out well.  I am very bored though.  We aren't flying and the likely hood that we are going to anytime before we leave is pretty much none.  So on that note the frustration of why I came back to this place is compounding.  Sure I am getting paid to sit on my ass and do nothing, but I would much rather be home doing nothing than sitting here.  I can say that I truly despise this country.  I can say that I am starting to despise my job, apparently I am a glutton for punishment.  I have now worked with this particular system/company three times all with virtually the same feeling of utter disdain.  I came back this time because a friend asked me to, he said things had changed, that the product we have was better, that the people in the office were less retarded.  I know he didn't mean to lie to me, but he did.  Nothing has changed.  Yes it's a new system, yes it does work great when it works.  Key word there "WHEN"  Since I have gotten back with them all I have heard about is how the system keeps failing.  Then I get here and see it for myself.  What also amazes me is the fact that there are literally two parts of the office.  The people that use the plane and the people that can't understand why it is that something could possibly be wrong with their product.  These two sides rarely talk to each other.  Which I am no business guru but I am pretty sure that in a productive business the people that actually use the damn product should have their two cents put in, and I know they do from time to time, but it's not enough.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I am going to be looking for a new job sooner than later.  I hate looking for work, but I really think that I need to start looking for something more stable less contracting and that keeps me home.  I had a pretty tough time leaving this time, I don't know why.  Maybe it was because I knew I was going to miss the holidays, maybe its because I have someone that I didn't want to leave.  I don't know but I do know that I am fed up with this BS.  I am tired of having my name attached to a product that has so much potential but fails on so many levels.  I don't get it, I know stuff fails, but seriously it should not be failing at the rate it does.  I don't have the answers, but then again its not my job to come up with the answers.  So on that note this will conclude my rant.  I am going to go find something to do, what, I don't know but I have to get out of this room.  And just for giggles I am going to attach a pic from the sunrise I saw this morning.

Here we go Again!

Well here I find myself in the sandbox again.  I had not planned to be back out here.  I thought I was done deploying, but nooo this proved to be false.  I am not sure I like the fact I am out here, although the pay is nice.  It seems as though a lot of the issues I had with the last deployment may rear their ugly head again on this one, only not nearly as forceful.  I think this was the hardest deployment yet as in leaving.  I really didn't want to go.  I hate saying good bye to everyone and I especially with everything going on at home.  My sisters car wreck, she is doing well but still, and then my grandma passing away a week before I had to leave.  I felt like I was leaving at a very bad time.  Then there is my girlfriend.  I have usually never had time to get used to dating someone before a deployment, now while we have had a long distance relationship from the start it was nice to get to see her for the few weekends we had before I left.  I miss her a ton, but this should go by quickly I hope.  I know the last trip did.  However this trip is getting more and more ridiculous by the minute.  I am now the only guy here that is qualified to use the UAV manually.  There was two of us now there is but lonely old me.  This means that yours truly gets to pull double duty.  Oh boy!  Well speaking of double duty I have to go to work now.  I will write more later. 

Back to the Box....

Well I broke down and decided to go with the job overseas... I am currently living in a hotel room drinking a beer and watching TV.... my life is super exciting.  I should be heading overseas any time and back to the otherside of the world...  and then when I get back I will probably have a great potential of moving to Tucson AZ.  I don't know if I am ready for a move that big but we shall see...

What to do....

So the last you've heard I was and am in the dot business... I can say with a passion I do not like it. Apparently after leading a fairly caution free life of doing stuff that some people would probably call dumb your body breaks down. I hurt.... my back, my feet, my knees... all of which stem from previous injuries brought on by something that I have hurt in the past. I don't like the job but on the same token the job keeps me stateside. I have a potential job offer to go back to Afghanistan to fly the UAV's again, if I get offered it there is a very good possibility that I will take it. Unfortunately for me I am dating a very awesome girl whom I know wouldn't be to keen on my being gone for six months at a time. Now normally in this situation I would either not be dating anyone or the person I was with I wouldn't really feel like I needed to get their input on the situation. But with her I do... and did. She seemed fairly supportive in the reasons I had for going, but I know that deep down she would really really rather I didn't go. Granted I am not saying that I am looking forward to the opportunity to frequent that country again, although last time I wasn't able to get that vacation property... maybe this time? Anyways I am quite torn, I care about her and I want to make her happy, but at the same time this job has a potential to grow into some thing quite lucrative if I approach it right which in the long run would be beneficial to both of us in the future. That's another thing, I haven't ever talked about the future when referring to a relationship..... I'm the first one to kibosh that. But I find it fun and exciting with her. I will be flying out to see her over the labor day weekend then I fly home and turn around and get back on a plane to Hawaii for 5 days for Effen Ben's wedding. This is going to be a very busy couple of weeks and not a lot of dots. Although that also means no money will be coming my way. We shall see what happens I suppose. I guess its time for me to go to bed. Maybe I can turn the brain off for a little while.

Dots.....

Well since I have last written I have started working on a new job... my job? Dots... approximately 60 miles of dots... I haven't walked so much in one week... ever? I can't give particulars but I can give that I am sore. Even being a Green Beret I don't know that I have walked so much on a regular basis as I have for this job. But while I have found a job I don't particularly like I have found a nice young woman that I do like. The only problem is that she lives quite a ways away from where I do... like across the country... We are trying to figure out how to see each other more often, only problem is that we are two very busy people. So coordinating time off and weekends to get together is proving some what difficult. But we will figure it out I am sure. Anyways I am really sore and worn out and I think that pizza and beer will be in order for dinner tonight.

History in the making.

As I am sitting here watching the news on how Osama Bin Laden was killed by a group of Navy SEALs, I can't help but wonder. I know that I would love to jump up and down in joy knowing that the irrational close minded bastard that planned and executed an attack on my home turf, and that same man is the leader of the group that follows him to the irrational thinking that all westerners are infidels. That group being the same people that are responsible for killing my brothers and sisters in arms, my friends.... Although in the same thought I am very nervous, becuase those same people that we haven't caught that we continue to fight, those same people that my friends are overseas fighting right now. Those people are not going to take this lightly, I fear that they will try to step up their fight to avenge their fallen leader. I am worried that they will try and bring that fight here again. I hope that we have the proper steps in place to prevent such an attack, but you never know. So while I am happy and thankful that there is one less threat to our safety, I am nervous to the retaliation that may occur.