Sick.... Tired... Slightly Irritated.

So here I sit in wonderful Afghanistan. Again. I am flying again which is good.  We spent the first week out here twiddling our thumbs which was ok I suppose.  We got a chance to get acclimated and feel things out. We have since started flying, which is great but the army doesn't know how to use us.  Although I have a feeling that is going to change soon.. I am ok with that too.  I am sick, yay?  Well its just a cold but its annoying to say the least.  Stuffy nose sore throat etc...  
On another note its almost Christmas, yet I don't really feel the holiday spirit.  I want to, I want to be happy and merry.  There are no lights no tree nothing to really remind me that its actually the holiday season.  I have been living vicariously through Facebook and what other people have been posting.  Which has sufficed for now.  I am going to miss family and friends as the next few weeks go by.  I want to be there with them.  Mostly family, they've had a rough go this year.  Between my sisters wreck and my grandma passing its been hard on my folks.  I know me being gone isn't helping any either.  Time is going by pretty fast but its still dragging when I look back at how long I have actually been out here.  I still technically have over 4 months.  Then there is the question of am I going to stay with this job?  Where am I going to go if I don't.  School? Work? What?  I don't know... I like this field of work I just don't think that the company I am with has the crap together enough for this system to last... I hope I am proven wrong.  I have come back three times to virtually the same stuff every time.  Bad planning, poor communication, and a product that just isn't quite there.  I don't have the answers to fix it, but even for me I can see that something needs to be fixed.  Well I will sit here and mouth breathe till my drugs kick in and ponder the next move... 

Bored... Tired.... Frustrated.

Well today is the day after Thanksgiving.  I had a pretty decent day yesterday, all in all.  I watched a movie, hung out and at my sweet MRE, and got to video chat with Gretchen.  I think it turned out well.  I am very bored though.  We aren't flying and the likely hood that we are going to anytime before we leave is pretty much none.  So on that note the frustration of why I came back to this place is compounding.  Sure I am getting paid to sit on my ass and do nothing, but I would much rather be home doing nothing than sitting here.  I can say that I truly despise this country.  I can say that I am starting to despise my job, apparently I am a glutton for punishment.  I have now worked with this particular system/company three times all with virtually the same feeling of utter disdain.  I came back this time because a friend asked me to, he said things had changed, that the product we have was better, that the people in the office were less retarded.  I know he didn't mean to lie to me, but he did.  Nothing has changed.  Yes it's a new system, yes it does work great when it works.  Key word there "WHEN"  Since I have gotten back with them all I have heard about is how the system keeps failing.  Then I get here and see it for myself.  What also amazes me is the fact that there are literally two parts of the office.  The people that use the plane and the people that can't understand why it is that something could possibly be wrong with their product.  These two sides rarely talk to each other.  Which I am no business guru but I am pretty sure that in a productive business the people that actually use the damn product should have their two cents put in, and I know they do from time to time, but it's not enough.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I am going to be looking for a new job sooner than later.  I hate looking for work, but I really think that I need to start looking for something more stable less contracting and that keeps me home.  I had a pretty tough time leaving this time, I don't know why.  Maybe it was because I knew I was going to miss the holidays, maybe its because I have someone that I didn't want to leave.  I don't know but I do know that I am fed up with this BS.  I am tired of having my name attached to a product that has so much potential but fails on so many levels.  I don't get it, I know stuff fails, but seriously it should not be failing at the rate it does.  I don't have the answers, but then again its not my job to come up with the answers.  So on that note this will conclude my rant.  I am going to go find something to do, what, I don't know but I have to get out of this room.  And just for giggles I am going to attach a pic from the sunrise I saw this morning.

Here we go Again!

Well here I find myself in the sandbox again.  I had not planned to be back out here.  I thought I was done deploying, but nooo this proved to be false.  I am not sure I like the fact I am out here, although the pay is nice.  It seems as though a lot of the issues I had with the last deployment may rear their ugly head again on this one, only not nearly as forceful.  I think this was the hardest deployment yet as in leaving.  I really didn't want to go.  I hate saying good bye to everyone and I especially with everything going on at home.  My sisters car wreck, she is doing well but still, and then my grandma passing away a week before I had to leave.  I felt like I was leaving at a very bad time.  Then there is my girlfriend.  I have usually never had time to get used to dating someone before a deployment, now while we have had a long distance relationship from the start it was nice to get to see her for the few weekends we had before I left.  I miss her a ton, but this should go by quickly I hope.  I know the last trip did.  However this trip is getting more and more ridiculous by the minute.  I am now the only guy here that is qualified to use the UAV manually.  There was two of us now there is but lonely old me.  This means that yours truly gets to pull double duty.  Oh boy!  Well speaking of double duty I have to go to work now.  I will write more later. 

Back to the Box....

Well I broke down and decided to go with the job overseas... I am currently living in a hotel room drinking a beer and watching TV.... my life is super exciting.  I should be heading overseas any time and back to the otherside of the world...  and then when I get back I will probably have a great potential of moving to Tucson AZ.  I don't know if I am ready for a move that big but we shall see...

What to do....

So the last you've heard I was and am in the dot business... I can say with a passion I do not like it. Apparently after leading a fairly caution free life of doing stuff that some people would probably call dumb your body breaks down. I hurt.... my back, my feet, my knees... all of which stem from previous injuries brought on by something that I have hurt in the past. I don't like the job but on the same token the job keeps me stateside. I have a potential job offer to go back to Afghanistan to fly the UAV's again, if I get offered it there is a very good possibility that I will take it. Unfortunately for me I am dating a very awesome girl whom I know wouldn't be to keen on my being gone for six months at a time. Now normally in this situation I would either not be dating anyone or the person I was with I wouldn't really feel like I needed to get their input on the situation. But with her I do... and did. She seemed fairly supportive in the reasons I had for going, but I know that deep down she would really really rather I didn't go. Granted I am not saying that I am looking forward to the opportunity to frequent that country again, although last time I wasn't able to get that vacation property... maybe this time? Anyways I am quite torn, I care about her and I want to make her happy, but at the same time this job has a potential to grow into some thing quite lucrative if I approach it right which in the long run would be beneficial to both of us in the future. That's another thing, I haven't ever talked about the future when referring to a relationship..... I'm the first one to kibosh that. But I find it fun and exciting with her. I will be flying out to see her over the labor day weekend then I fly home and turn around and get back on a plane to Hawaii for 5 days for Effen Ben's wedding. This is going to be a very busy couple of weeks and not a lot of dots. Although that also means no money will be coming my way. We shall see what happens I suppose. I guess its time for me to go to bed. Maybe I can turn the brain off for a little while.

Dots.....

Well since I have last written I have started working on a new job... my job? Dots... approximately 60 miles of dots... I haven't walked so much in one week... ever? I can't give particulars but I can give that I am sore. Even being a Green Beret I don't know that I have walked so much on a regular basis as I have for this job. But while I have found a job I don't particularly like I have found a nice young woman that I do like. The only problem is that she lives quite a ways away from where I do... like across the country... We are trying to figure out how to see each other more often, only problem is that we are two very busy people. So coordinating time off and weekends to get together is proving some what difficult. But we will figure it out I am sure. Anyways I am really sore and worn out and I think that pizza and beer will be in order for dinner tonight.

History in the making.

As I am sitting here watching the news on how Osama Bin Laden was killed by a group of Navy SEALs, I can't help but wonder. I know that I would love to jump up and down in joy knowing that the irrational close minded bastard that planned and executed an attack on my home turf, and that same man is the leader of the group that follows him to the irrational thinking that all westerners are infidels. That group being the same people that are responsible for killing my brothers and sisters in arms, my friends.... Although in the same thought I am very nervous, becuase those same people that we haven't caught that we continue to fight, those same people that my friends are overseas fighting right now. Those people are not going to take this lightly, I fear that they will try to step up their fight to avenge their fallen leader. I am worried that they will try and bring that fight here again. I hope that we have the proper steps in place to prevent such an attack, but you never know. So while I am happy and thankful that there is one less threat to our safety, I am nervous to the retaliation that may occur.

Guess sleep is for losers.

Well my ability to not sleep is back... awesome. I apparently have a lot on my mind. Most of which is hinging on my job interview in the morning. I think that I really want the job, which would open up a lot of opportunities for me. I would be able to buy the house I am looking at. I wouldn't have to do contracting anymore, which would mean I don't deploy unless the guard takes me and I think that it would be a fun job. So all of that combined to lead me to my sleeplessness. All in all I have had a pretty decent weekend. Went to the Husky game we beat Syracuse. Granted it wasn't pretty, the Seahawks pulled out a good win and I have won in both my fantasy leagues... So I am hoping that I havent' used up all my good luck just yet. On a sad not my sister is pretty upset. Her dog Marley was hit by a car this evening, I feel awful for her. I know how that feels. Luckily there are no broken bones and worse case scenario is that she will have some nerve damage. Hopefully she will make a full recovery. Well I guess I have vented enough for now guess I will try and get some sleep.

Never Forget

9 Years.... Has it really been 9 years? It blows my mind how fast time goes by. I can totally remember where I was and what I was doing at the time of one of the most turmoltuous times in american history, but then again so can any other american that was of an age to be remembering such attrocities.
I was driving back to my house tonight as I watched the clock change to midnight and I saw the date change from 9/10/10 to 9/11/10 and I almost instantly had tears in my eyes. Becuase of that day my life was changed forever. Whether I realized it or not I had no idea what life had in store for me and still to this day really don't. I like most people have known someone, be it a loved one, family, friend, aquaintence or really just anyone in your life that has been affected by that day. I know I am not alone. Now while I didn't know anyone in the towers or pentagon or on any of the planes. I have lost friends, mentors, schoolmates etc. to the war that ensued becuase of that day. And it enfuriates me to see these people that protest and that take for granted the liberties that I gave up in order for them to do what they do. They have such a closed outlook on life that they really don't know what it is that they are protesting against. I know a lot of the people will say " I support the troops not the war" well its the troops that are in the war. Regardless of who you are for or against its these men and women who are out there everyday putting their life on the line. It was these men and women who had enough will power to step up and say "yes take me". The only thing that upsets me more than the everyday protesters is my fellow soldiers that refuse to fight.... especially the ones who have signed the line after 9-11... they knew full on what they were getting in to. It kills me to see these troops that think its the right idea only to back out last minute. To me that is worse than not sigining up at all... But enough of that... this day is to remember the thousands of united states citizens that have been lost in the past nine years. This day is to remember that no matter what those who have fallen were someones Mother, Father, Brother, Sister, Son, Daughter...... they meant something to someone somewhere. And while I personally have know a few people lost to this war, there are far to many that I never got a chance to meet. I hope that regardless of your views on the world today that we can all take a moment to reflect on those true heros that are no longer with us.

The District

Okay so been a month or so since I have posted anything, and if it weren't that I have problems remembering yesterday I would totally catch you all up on what I have been doing. Nothing too crazy. I went on a trip the East Coast to visit with some friends whom I haven't seen in quite some time. I started the week of madness on a golf course in Tacoma, Wa. At 10 am I show up and low and behold alot of my old fraternity brothers are there. We spend time catching up over some drinks and well some more drinks. That finished up after 18 holes of golf and who knows how many drinks. I wasn't able to stay for the dinner becuase, well I had a flight to catch. So I get back home and grab my bags change a shirt and I'm off. I spend the night flying to the other side of the states land in Boston, with a hangover and a mad case of cotton mouth. So first thing I grab a bottle of water and big ole yogurt from starbucks. I go to the departure board to find my flight. I see a flight to Raleigh but it just doesn't look like my flight. I go to the gate and of course no one is there. So I go find another gate and ask the lady to look up the flight I am supposed to be on. She finds it and kindly points me in the right directions... out of the terminal an to the other side of the airport.... I am slowly starting to dislike Boston's airport. I mosey on down to the proper area and as I am coming up on security I remember I still have a huge water and yogurt that I just bought.... so I proceed to wolf down the yogurt and down the bottle of water while I was in line. I get up to security and they have two lines well one line really. One for the body X-ray and one empty line for the metal detector. I walk up with my military ID in hand, the guy asks me what branch, even though it says on it then tells me I can skip the X-ray and go through metal detector. Which was good. I finally get to my gate and just want to veg out.... only the gate area smells like vomit. I was sick from the smell. Well then I get on the flight and land in Raleigh no problem. My friend picked me up and we went back to his place. Spent the next day or two there then myself and two friends and their wives drove up to DC. We get up there and meet up with my other friend that I am crashing with. I haven't seen him in over 5 years. So we stayed up till the wee hours catching up on life drinking a couple beers. Got up the next day and went to the natural history museum and the spy museum. It was fun kind of just walked around DC. That night I called another friend who lives in DC and told him I was in town, he tells me a mutual friend from WA is out staying with him. So all the guys end up going out and getting absolutly trashed, I ended up leaving the bar and going to Virginia in a cab. I woke up in a hotel room not really sure where I was the next day... I figured it out when I went to check out. I got on the subway and made my way back to my friends apartment. Needless to say I was quite hungover. That next day we just kind of bummed around the local area where we were staying. Then we all got ready to go to Georgetown that night. Its a neat little part of the city. Its been quite modernized but it still retains the old historicalness that makes it neat. We didn't get too crazy that night. I think we were still feeling it from the night before. Then the next morning we got up ate and left. I flew out the early morning flight from Raleigh, my friend was kind enough to drive all the way back to Raleigh only just a few hours after he drove all the way back to Fayettville from DC which is about 5 hours. I landed in Seattle at 11 am and found out that my bags stayed in Atlanta. Not to stoked about that. I can understand if my bags had to go to the other side of the airport and that I only had about a 20 min layover... no the plane I got off of and the plane I got on were literally next to each other. The two other people that were on the same flight didn't get their bags either. I don't get it, and I had over an hour layover. Oh well it got delivered that afternoon. Well I need to go to bed seeing as I am nursing a cold... Probably drank away my immune system this past week. Glad I don't do this all the time.